Illogical and Irrational
by Ziny-DiNozzo
Summary: You're pregnant? I didn't know you were seeing anyone." I could see Booth was upset that I hadn't let him into my life, so I decided to, as they say, bite the bullet, "I haven't been. That's why I came to you." B/B, Brennan's POV, my first Bones fic.
1. Counter Acting Evidence

_my first Bones fic! yay! (damn it Ilona you better be proud)_

**Illogical and Irrational**

**Prologue - Counter Acting Evidence**

"Excuse me?" I said in what, as an author, I would describe as a scoff, "That is in no way possible."

"Well it must be, Doctor Brennan." The man in front of me smiled, like the obviously incorrect news he had just given me was good, "Because it is. Congratulations."

"But it can't be."

He let out an honest and heart warming laugh, "A woman as smart as yourself must realise that no method of contraception is one hundred percent reliable."

"Including abstinence it seems." I heard myself mutter under my breath,

"I'm sorry?"

I sat up from my place on the examination table and looked my doctor in the eye.

"There is no possible way I am pregnant," I told him firmly, "because I haven't been sexually active in the last twelve months."

Dr. Barrett frowned, "Well I think it best if I give you an ultra sound, just to double check."

I reluctantly agreed after some persuasion, and as time seemed to slip by I was sitting in my living room, clutching a photo of my unborn child, tears of confusion running down my face.

My tears were irrational. This was a fact, I had evidence of this pregnancy and I knew it to be the truth. But I also knew it to be true that I had not had sexual relations with anyone within the age of my pregnancy. And the two facts counter acted each other, leading me to only two conclusions, which ideally was only one.

I had either been raped… or I was the new not-quite-a-virgin Mary.

And taking into my always rational consideration, conception without sex or implantation -which was often a way to explain gods or saviours of multiple spiritual beliefs and considered religious miracles- was completely impossible and incomprehensible. Rape was my only rationally safe option.

My tears had dried and I stood, placing the small photo in my jacket pocket, I was going to see Booth. I didn't know what he would do, but I did know –however much I hate the thought- I have faith in him and his judgement.

**What do you think? Did I over do Bones? I don't know, she's kinda hard to get...**

_review :)_


	2. Horripilation

_thanks for all the alerts and favs and great reviews! i love them:)_

**1- Horripilation**

I arrived at his apartment, and waited outside his door, my hand unable to move from my pocket to knock, so instead I forced myself to raise my left hand and I rapped my fist against the wood, the hollow sound echoing.

He answered and I saw his face change from a smile after recognising me, to a frown.

"Hey Bones, are you all right? You look… wow. Come in, sit down." He ushered me inside and sat me down at his kitchen table, "I'll get you some coffee. Jesus, what's happened to you? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." I said,

"You've been crying." He told me, bending down and looking me in the eyes. "Here," He had a damp cloth in his hand and he started to gently wipe my face. It was annoying but my eyes fluttered closed and my heart beat started to beat a little louder.

"I'm fine Booth." I said again, but he let out a low laugh,

"Have you seen yourself Bones?"

"I'm fine." I said again, my hand rose to his and caressed it, "Fine."

Booth nodded and commenced making the coffee he had offered. When he was done I accepted my cup and raised it to my mouth. It was only then I realised I can't drink coffee anymore. I lowered my hand.

Booth did the same, except his coffee cup was now half empty, and he let out a long breath of satisfaction.

"So." He said, "If you're so fine, why did you come here?" He grinned, "Missing me?"

I couldn't seem to stop my smile. Booth had that effect on me, but really I knew it was my hormones… as my thoughts of physical attraction and the cocktail of hormones rushing through my blood stream continued I pulled my right hand from my pocket and place the photo face down on the table, sliding it towards Booth.

He looked down at the white square, then picked it up and turned it over, staring at the image, his eyes unblinking.

"You're pregnant? I didn't know you were seeing anyone."

I could see Booth was upset that I hadn't let him into my life, so I decided to, as they say, bite the bullet, "I haven't been. That's why I came to you."

Booth swallowed, and looked back down at the photo, "You mean," He said slowly and in a tone of voice I didn't have memory of hearing before, "You mean that someone. That someone… raped you?" He looked up and I could see tears swelling in his eyes, "You were raped and you didn't tell me? You didn't report it?"

"Booth…" I murmured quietly, I didn't know quite how to address the situation,

I stood up and walked to him, placing my hand on his shoulder. His arms wrapped around me and I let fell into his lap, Booth was hugging me close.

I allowed him to hold me and to whisper small words that anyone else, perhaps someone like Angela, would have found comforting, but I my self knew were nothing.

I found I was holding him too. Clutching to him.

"Booth. Booth it's ok."

"It's not okay!" he said, his hand holding my face so our noses were almost touching, "It's not ok."

"Booth…"

"I am so sorry, Bones." He whispered, "God, I should have known. I'm so sorry."

I opened my mouth about to tell Booth all the reasons that there was no possible way he could have prevented this, to list him all the facts about the situation, and statistics of other cases, but when I spoke I only said five words.

"This is not your fault."

"I should have-"

My hand covered his mouth, blocking his words, "Shh." I murmured,

I turned my body so instead of sitting on Booth's lap sideways, my body was completely facing him, my legs on either side of him.

"Too much time has past." I told him, "There's nothing we can do but accept the facts."

Booth's hands ran from my waist, down my legs and back up to my hips causing a pilomotor reflex and horripilation of my skin.

"Accept the facts huh?" He asked with a small smile, "When haven't you accepted the facts?"

I frowned, my arms wrapping loosely around Booth's neck, "I've always accepted facts Booth, you know that."

"Rhetorical question, Bones."

"Oh." I said, "I knew that."

Booth was still smiling at me but we sat in silence.

"Will you help?" I asked suddenly,

"Help?"

"With the baby." I clarified, "From what you've told me it's a difficult role full of insecurities and self doubts, and I've been told I'm not good with people, but you are, and you're a great father with Parker."

"You want me to be… your kid's father figure?"

"Yes." I said simply, "I could pay you, if you want, but I suppose that asking you to father a child you have no connection to is a big proposition."

"Of course I'll help Bones." Grinned Booth, "Man, this is, well, thanks for asking." Anthropologically speaking I could see Booth found this a great honour, and I smiled softly,

"So you'll do it?"

"You didn't even have to ask."

I frowned, "Why is that?"

He laughed again, "Because you're my, well ...we're partners."

"Partners." I agreed but I could feel the small irrational part of my mind, the part Angela would refer to as my heart, wishing we were more.

**tbc**

**review please :):) -- did i get Bones right again? I'm nervous i'll over do it.  
**


	3. Biological

_thanks for the reviews, i hope this chapter answers some of your questions :)_

**2- Biological**

"You're being irrational."

"_I'm _being irrational? Honey, you're the one who got raped and hasn't batted an eyelid." Angela told me as she sat down on the couch in my office,

"Actually, the average person blinks between 17000 to 22000 times per day." I told her,

"Hm. Yea." Angela said in the odd way she did whenever I shared my knowledge, "But sweetie, how can you be ok with this? Some guy has molested you physically and left you with a _baby_."

"Foetus."

"What?"

"He left me with a foetus, not a baby."

"Right." Angela looked away briefly then stood and started to walk to me, "But it still stands that you were molested, I mean he claimed sex from you. Sex should be all about feelings and spiritualising the love, not rape."

"Well I don't have any memory of it." I said dismissively, "And sex isn't spiritual."

"Ok then." Said Angela slowly, "How exactly, can you not have memory of it?"

"Well it must have happened in the night. And he must have given me a date rape drug."

"I thought you didn't jump to conclusions."

"I'm not." I defended, "I'm just making an assessment with the facts, and this is the most logical explanation."

"So what? Some guy breaks into your place when you're asleep, slips you drugs, rapes you and leaves; you wake up the next morning and don't even know you had sex?"

"That's my understanding, yes."

"Well that's crazy." Angela said simply,

"Why?"

"Well you're obviously not dealing with this properly."

"I think that I'm doing well."

Angela laughed, "Trust me sweetie, the only reason I'm letting you get away with this is because you're you." As she was leaving I frowned and called after her,

"Who else would I be?"

"Who else will you be why?" Asked Cam as she walked in,

I sat up a bit more in my chair and face Cam, "I don't know. Angela was saying something."

"Ok." said Cam with a small smile, "You said you needed to ask me something?"

"Yes." I told her as I stood up and started to put on my blue lab coat, "I'm going to need leave."

Cam frowned, "For what?"

We started to walk together, out of my office and towards the forensic platform where I had some remains found in an archaeological dig.

"I'm pregnant."

"Excuse me?" Asked Cam, here eyebrows raised,

"You're pregnant?" asked Hodgins as he walked over, "Whoa. Who's the father?"

"I don't know."

Cam had stopped walking, "Ok, I think you should explain."

"Oh." I stopped and took a few steps back towards Cam, "Well I was raped, but I don't remember it."

"Ohh." Hodgins had a strange look on his face, I had seen it many times before, normally he would explain by sharing knowledge that although was factual was most likely not factual to the situation.

"Easy there tiger," warned Cam, "Wipe that look off your face. She hasn't been impregnated by aliens or what ever else your conspiracy mind has come up with."

Hodgins looked disgruntled by this but I couldn't help but chuckle a little bit before turning back to professionalism.

"I would appreciate it if you lied to my father."

"What? Why?" Asked Hodgins,

"Well because if he thought I was in danger he might act irrationally."

"What's the cover then?"

"One night stand." I said, "I don't really understand how the term applies to the action, but Booth explained to me that it's the best option."

"Right. Well, I think we should all get back to work now." Cam said, smiling in what I assumed to be awkwardness.

"Do I get my leave?"

"What?" Cam turned, "Oh. Yes of course, I'll organise it."

"Thank you." I turned and saw Hodgins was staring at me, "What?" I asked him,

"Nothing." He grinned, "Just you …having a baby."

"Yes. I've said that."

He nodded slowly, looking at me strangely then snorted and stared too laugh.

"What?" I asked,

"Nothing, nothing, it's just." He let out a breath, "Don't worry."

"No, what is it?"

"You're having a baby to a complete stranger and Booth's ok with it?"

"Why wouldn't he be?"

"Well…" He looked at me, and then his expression changed, "You really don't know?"

"What? Hodgins, tell me."

"It's just that, well, Booth is like, crazy protective of you, you know?"

"Well we're partners."

"It's more then that." Chuckled Hodgins, "He's seriously ok with you having this baby?"

"Well he seemed upset and was blaming himself until I asked him to help."

"To help?"

"Yes. Help. With the baby."

Hodgins frowned slightly, "You asked him to help with the baby? Like the… father?"

"Yes."

"Booth's this kid's father."

"Not biologically." I corrected,

"But still."

"Well he said he would help."

Angela came walking out carrying a file, "What's going on?"

"Booth's Brennan's baby daddy."

"Seriously? You lied?" Angela asked,

I frowned now; I was starting to become confused, "What? No."

"Not literally." Hodgins said to Angela, "But she asked him to be the father."

Angela gasped, "My God."

Hodgins started to laugh, "And she doesn't even know."

"Know what?"

Angela was laughing too, her smile huge.

"What don't I know?" I asked, getting irritated.

"Sorry to break it to you sweetie, but you've got it bad." Angela smirked,

"I have what bad? What's 'it'?"

Hodgins stoped laughing and looked at me, "You're in love with Booth."

"Someone say my name?" Booth was walking to us, looking between me and Hodgins.

**review!**

i don't know why, but for some reason i find the whole Bones fandom hard to right. and im more insecure about my work... How are the other characters? Booth in the last chap, then Ange, Jack and Cam in this one.

also which assistant should star in this fic?  



	4. Hormones

_thanks for your reviews :) and i decided to have a mix of assistants :P_ -- Oh and i'm going to have some scenes without Brennan in 3rd person...

**3- Hormones**

"Yes." Grinned Angela, "Can I talk to you for a minute?" She seemed to be asking but she had grabbed onto Booth's arm and was pulling him to her part of the lab,

I looked from them to Hodgins who was smirking at me, "What?" I asked, irritated,

"You haven't denied it baby." He chuckled, walking away,

I stood still for a moment longer but shrugged and made my way to the remains.

* * *

Angela pulled Booth by his arm into her work area and shut the door before pouncing.

"Why aren't you out there?" She hissed at him,

"What?"

"Shh!" Angela shushed him and pulled him further into the room, "Some guy rapes Brennan and you're not out there hunting him down?"

"Angela, listen-"

"No." She interrupted, "You listen here Booth, that's my best friend, and she doesn't deal with these things like normal people, but you have no excuse! You're going to go out there and use all your magical FBI skills to find this rapist and throw him in jail for what he did to Brennan."

Booth looked Angela in the eye, "Angela." He said, "You have no idea how much I wish I could do that, but I can't. No one can. There's nothing that can be done and no way to prove a rape actually occurred. Too much time has past for anything, no rape kit, no hairs, no semen, no tox-screen and no memory. There's nothing we can do, I'm sorry."

Angela's face fell, "Damn it."

"I know." He sighed, "I hate it too."

"What about the baby?" Ange asked, her face lifting, "We can test the baby for DNA, see if it's on file?"

"We can't."

"What? Why not?"

"It's too early in the pregnancy, she's only eight weeks."

"And she'd never agree to it." Angela stated, disheartened.

"Yea." Sighed Booth, "But on the bright side, we're gonna meet a baby Bones."

Angela let out a laugh, "Yea… Are you ok with it?"

"With what?"

"Brennan having a baby… with someone else."

"Oh." Booth's wall built up, "Yea. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Don't give me that." Sighed Angela, "We all know. Well… all of us except Bren."

"Right, well. I have to go…" Booth left,

* * *

Booth walked to me and gave me a tense smile. "Hey there, Bones." He clapped his hands together and walked to the table where the remains I were examining, sat. "Whatcha got here?"

"Remains of a male, roughly thirty years old, they were found in an archaeological dig. I've been asked to date them." I told him looking over the bones,

"Sounds like fun." he commented,

"Is this one of those times when you say something but mean the opposite?" I asked, not looking up from my work,

"Uhh…Yea. Yes it is."

I nodded slowly, "What did Angela want?"

"What? Oh, you know, protective stuff."

"Protective stuff?"

"Well she's your best friend Bones, she loves you like a sister and she's worried about you."

"Worrying is illogical."

"Not for Angela. Not for the people that care about you."

I looked up from my work and studied Booth's kind face, he was closer then before, closer then anyone else would stand.

"Do you care about me?" I asked, and I was momentarily surprised that my voice had changed to become a sort of whimper.

He moved closer still and brought his hand up to touch my cheek gently, "Of course I do." he whispered,

He was looking into my eyes deeply, and I felt a fluttering in my stomach as hormones raced through my blood stream, my heart beating faster.

My eyes dropped from his and focused on his lips, we were so close. His head dropped and I knew he was going to kiss me, I knew it.

"_Er-Hmm_."

Booth and I were caught by the element of surprise, Booth jolted backwards taking steps away from me, I turned and tried to refocus on my work as Clark walked from the top of the stairs to the remains shaking his head and muttering quietly.

"Dr. Edison." I said, my voice even, "What can you tell me?"

Clark looked over the remains and droned out his findings while I watched rather longingly as Booth walked away.

**Review please :)  
**


	5. AN undo or redo?

Hey guys,

So I have some news. THis fic will be going in one of two ways...

A) i drop it. abandon it. discontinue it. it dies, i may even delete it.  
or  
B) i re-write it in a few weeks to try and get it more in character (ie, Brennan's rape will actully be a onenight stand.)

really... i'm thinking A, but if enough people want it i'm happy to go with option B. keep in mind i wont actually be able to post the rewritten stuff for a while. i'd probably do it in my school holidays which are in about a month.

let me know!  
Ziny-DiNozzo


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